For one thing, I guess I always expected it to be an immediately recognizable local name, and then I could just go to the phone book and find them and ask "So, you got any brain tumors over there, 'cause we're lousy with 'em over here." But nope, it was a name I'd never ever heard of before, aside from one cartoon villain but that hardly counts because that person looked nothing like my mom. So I did the googling and wiki-ing, and all that shit and OH. MY. CHRIST.
The dude was everything I never expected and yet everything I should really have expected. For one thing, he was kinda batty. Not in a Manson way, but in a "they called him eccentric because he had money" kind of way. Also, he left the area before my mom was even born, and made just enough money to ensure that no descendants of his will ever be willing to talk to anyone claiming to be a possible descendant of his. And he died, too, so that kinda sucks. But he was insane, and he was on billboards in his underwear (Well why the fuck not?!), and he coined a term every American uses several times a day, and I think he banged Phyllis Diller. And from this comes my genetic code. Maybe. Here's you check and see what you think.
My possible grandfather