It all just sucks so much

I can keep my shit together, pounds and pounds of outward pressure held together with string, 99% of the time. But the 1% of the time when it spills into someone else's radar I'm suddenly a mess who needs to get her shit together or get the fuck out.  I get it, nobody wants to see my breakdowns. I don’t want to see my breakdowns. But 3 hours of some lady crying,, or asleep in an emotional coma, within your range of vision isn't shit.  Trust me. I live with this and if you didn't trip over a corpse, you didn't see shit.