Stay At Home Moms

I'd like to point out that there's a difference between a housewife and a stay at home mom. Just like there's a difference between a housekeeper and a nanny.  That said, I've been a SAHM for 18 years. I'm glad I have the time to run errands, clean, do the laundry, because that stuff has to be done anyway and lord knows it often falls more on the mom than the dad. Not always because of gender roles, often it's because the woman has higher standards for how things should be done.  But I also realize that I haven't paid into social security for 18 years, which will hurt when I file for it. And I have no 401k or pension. I have a huge gap in my employment history and am not up to date with what most jobs require. (This is why alimony exists, btw.) I don't know if I'll ever be able to work a real job again. My kids have issues I have to take them to appointments for, the school calls me a couple times a month to go pick up someone because they're sick, and it's not always possible to schedule everything after 4pm. I have to be here to get my kids to school and drive them home in the afternoon, the weekend is the only time I really get to spend with my family due to my husband's late work hours and the kids' homework and activities. So I'd need a job from 8:30-2:30, weekdays only, that doesn't mind me leaving for sick kids or appointments. With no experience, training, or even work history required. I spend the time my kids are in karate class at a bar act the street from the dojo, having the only adult conversation I ever get with anyone other than my husband. But honestly, I love my life. Even when I'm in a mood or feel depressed I recognize that I have a wonderful family that I not only love but also like, a strong and happy marriage of 18 years, a nice house, and we're not only financially stable but also have a decent savings built up. And I think part of what helps my marriage be strong and happy is that I don't have a bunch of work stress, I don't have resentment from splitting housework, and I don't need to worry about losing a job or making my kid sit in the nurse's office for a day when the school calls me that one needs to come home. And I do have a job, just not a paid one. I clean the house my way and the family knows to stay out of my way and where to put the dirty dishes, laundry, mending, etc. I know which stores have the cheaper things so when I do the shopping I save money by going to 3 or 4 places, because I have the time to do that. I have my systems to keep the house running smoothly and keep track of everyone's obligations. I'm a housekeeper, a nanny, a chauffeur, a personal shopper, a therapist, and an executive assistant. All for free. And my husband appreciates this. In fact, I have more life insurance than he does because if he dies we get survivor's benefits and his 401k but if I die he gets little to none of that, plus he has to quit his job and find one where he's not leaving at 5am and getting home at 7pm.