Tuesday, December 02, 2014

How my brain works

     "Hmmm, I have a second; I'll check pinterest for clever holiday decorating ideas.  Let's see, rustic holiday, traditional holiday, modern holiday, decorating your porch, decorating your entryway, decorating your kitchen, decorating your bathroom....
      "Wait a second. Somebody has a board all for decorating their bathroom for the holidays? Is that a thing now? That's so stupid!"

I click on it.

     "I suppose Christmas hand towels make sense. And a couple candles. Ooh, holiday scented soaps!"

I open a google tab and search Christmas+scented+soap.

     "Why does everyone show photos of the actual soap? No one cares what their bar of soap looks like! I need to see the pretty decorative wrapper!  Oh my God, why do the ones with pretty decorative wrappers cost so much more than the ones that just show the soap? Are they charging me ten dollars more for twelve square inches of Christmas paper?! I could do that myself with wrapping paper."

light bulb

     "Why don't I just buy the scented stuff in the ugly wrapper, wrap it myself with Christmas paper and a glue stick, print a label to go around it, and save tons of money?  I. Am. A. GENIUS!"
     "Shit, I've been on the computer forever. When am I supposed to pick up the kids from school?"

Saturday, November 01, 2014

More on that one quilt.

Tommy saw a quilt on a sale site, that was marked all the way down to $80, so of course I wouldn't buy it. But I did try to make it, although I decided to try stripes instead of squares. So here's the inspiration: 

They do sort of have a point.

Sometimes when I'm on pinterest, and I see all of the decorative uses for pumpkins and apples and corn for this time of year, I think of starving nations and realize that the rest of the world is kind of justified in hating us.

Friday, October 10, 2014

The pressure to be finished with a work in progress is a LOT.

I have picked up subtle and less subtle hints that I should show off my new house. And man, would I love too. Except that my kids wreck it as fast as I clean it.  But also, I have always been weird. And a lot of it was by design.  My mother's voice echoes in my head, "You do this all for shock effect."  I now have a home I love, and feel comfortable in, but are the visible eccentricities just sad cries for shock effect? Am I begging for attention? I don't think so. I feel relaxed and comfortable whether or not anyone sees the man under the stairs, but if I were photographing the house, the man under the stairs would be a photo I'd include.  But when I get the place cleaned up more, maybe for Xmas???  I'll post photos. Promise

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

What have I been doing instead of blogging?

Ryan's quilt.

Danny's quilt

Tommy's quilt

Couch quilt just to try to get rid of some scraps.

I just finished a lap quilt tonight but it's in the wash so I can't take a picture of it yet.  I desperately need more blankets and sheets for filling and backing. I guess I have no choice but to run to Goodwill.  Tommy's and Danny's quilts have $5 Walmart blankets in them and $5 Walmart flat sheets for the backs, as well as (gasp!) new fabric I bought just for them. Swanky stuff. Don't worry, though. There's some old stuff there, too. The tye-dye/cloudy sort of fabric in Tommy's quilt is from my mom's stash, so that's almost 40 years old, and the thin orangey flowered strips in Danny's is some of my highly prized authentic vintage 1970s polyester. They don't make that shit anymore. Mostly because people requested that they stop actually making shit like that.  Anyway, this is what I've been doing while the kids are good, so mainly after they've gone to bed. I'm pretty durn proud of myself, actually.Five quilts finished in half a summer. Not bad.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Best. Weekend. Ever.

Tom let me sleep in on Saturday before he went golfing and then when he got back, I took Ryan and went shopping for flowers, a trellis or two, some bird feeders, and dirt. When we got home, I took a quick shower and then Tom and I took the boys to see Godzilla and The Amazing Spiderman 2 at the drive-in. We were out until almost 3:00am. Then on Sunday I woke up with the boys at 10:00 and hung out with them until Tom took them and their best friend, Corwen, to watch the Monster Truck Jam he won tickets too on the radio. While they were gone, Ryan and I did some more landscape shopping and tore a hole in the front yard to take advantage of the only full sun area we have. We de-sodded it, ringed it with blocks, mulched it, filled a lot of planters with strawberries and flowers, and got it looking pretty decent before Tom got home.

Dirty, sweaty, tired, sore. I have a new flower bed, Ryan has a container garden and a trellis that will grow fragrant flowers right up her bedroom window, both my boys had two nights in a row of best-dad-ever time, and Tom maybe appreciates a little more of what I go through with the boys. Best weekend ever!

Saturday, April 19, 2014

My bathroom is an unfortunate and undignified shade of pink. Pink sink, pink tub, and pink 4x4 tiles all over the place.

We don't want to do a gut and remodel because it's terribly expensive. My idea, which I love with a tiny hidden bit of glee, is to wander around home improvement stores and antique stores, waiting to find the perfect stuff, with no eye on any style other than "We like this".  We found a sweet dresser, the perfect size for a double sink vanity, at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore for like $30. Now we need basins. To keep as much storage as possible, we need either a vessel sink or a low drop in one. And then we need two of them. And Tom is unwilling to even part with the money to paint the walls! It's a battle. But when it's won, I will love that bathroom forever. Like victory over plumbing.

Monday, April 14, 2014

I am pretty heavily medicated right now.Anxiety meds, beta blockers that I just learned from Bones might make me impotent, antibiotics for my sore throat, Xanax to calm me down when the really super itchy side effects of the antibiotics drive me mad, and ambien so I can sleep though it all.  So I'm thinking pretty clearly and I think I may have cured the world. Just, bear with me here.

I propose a revolution in how we teach teenagers how to live. For one thing, teach them the real boring crap that they should just know.Teach them the actual chemical names for their medicines so they know what they're taking. Tylenol = acetominophen. Motrin-Advil=ibuprofen.  But it's the tylenol you have to hide from. In fact, there's no reason to even buy it. It's not an anti-inflamatory like ibuprofen is, so it won't help when pain comes with swelling. And even better, if you drink and take acetominophen regularly, it's the highest single cause of spontaneous liver failure in the US. In fact, downing a bottle full of it is the preferred method of suicide in the UK. So I think wew need to teach kids that tylenol isn't harmless.

Also, We should teach them how to do laundry. Not the whole thing about sorting colors and don't forget the fabric softener. I mean, how to get black oil stains out of a pink tee-shirt. My daughter wore my new shirt to her jazz band concert and it came home with valve oil spots. First I'll try dish soap, then bar soap. Then the actual detergent, with color-safe bleach, and prayer.