Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My body, minus the fat

I have stretch marks, and a little more skin on my midsection than I used to, and parts of me are dramatically lower (when not artificially elevated) than they used to be. Also, a significant amount of my hair has lost its pigment. So yes, I am gray, saggy, soft, and stretched. And, oddly enough, I like that. (I don't like the fatty deposits on my butt and hips, but that's a different story.)

I'm not so proud of my post-children body that I'd run around in a bikini, but I don't dream of tummy tucks and boob jobs, and if I woke up tomorrow in some 80s movie plot where I was once again a teenager, I think I would miss my more mature body. (Not my figure, but the body it is currently ruining.)

I've never liked my body. My chest was too small or my hips weren't round enough, or my legs were too spindly. But now that my body looks like it's done something, now that it shows all the badges of actually having created people, I respect it. I know that that mark there came from Ryan and those over there came from Tommy (and we'll see what the next one gives me). It's no longer a matter of being genetically cursed by bad luck but of being a mother. I like that. (I just don't like the parts that show I'm lazy and eat too much greasy food.)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

naming babies

There are millions of names in the world to choose from, but not really that many after you eliminate:

  • Tom's ex-girlfriends' names
  • my ex-girlfriends' names
  • my ex-boyfriends' names
  • immediate family's names
  • names we associate with some bitch/asshole we went to school with
  • names that will give a kid stupid nicknames (Brian Allen Melton would be Bam, or worse BM)
  • names that don't go with our last name (Sheldon Melton, Elton Melton, Milton Melton)
  • over-used and trendy names, so anything in the top 100 for last year
  • ethnic names that don't match our heritage. ( I have nothing against the name Almir, but I can't name my son that, you know?)
  • names that are too dated or associated with pop culture (Hermione, Dexter, etc)
  • names we just can't bring ourselves to use (I know it sounds picky but everyone has them. Hugo, Millicent, Bertha)
And after you take out all of those names, then you have to actually agree on something that you both like. Together. Twice since we're waiting to learn the sex. And we have 5 months left to do it in. And the best part is, the girl name we had last time, I don't even really like this time around. We were thinking Ivy or Lila before and this just doesn't feel like an Ivy or Lila pregnancy. So we're back to square one.

Monday, March 15, 2010


"There oughtta be a law!" Against all sex offenders on facebook, even if the crime was consensual gay sex in states where it was illegal, or an 18 year old senior and his sophomore girlfriend, or even two eightteen year old seniors if one is in special ed classes and the DA's office decides she's too "developmentally" impaired to give consent (it's happened). And against gay couples going to the prom, or adopting, (even if one of them is the sole parent, as is the case with insemination or surrogacy), or marrying each other. And against letting the "God Hates Fags" church protest military funerals (which no one likes but, you know, freedom of speech). And against burning the flag, which is a symbol of America and not actually America, you know.

But the same republicans and conservatives who campaign on those premises swear up and down that they're against "Big Government" telling people what to do. We don't need Big Government forcing small businesses to insure employees. And we don't need Big Government making us hire gays (or, presumably, blacks or Jews or Irish or whoever it's fashionable to hate this year.) And we certainly don't need Big Government ordering us to stop raping the environment, and passing environmental laws that tell us not to run our cars on Middle Eastern hate. That's a violation of our freedoms!

So, to recap, it's not restrictive to tell gays who to marry when it affects no one else at all, but it's prohibitively restrictive to tell corporations to manufacture more ecologically sound cars, which affects everybody. Got it.

Conservatives are nuts.