Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Orkin man now knows too much.

Tom: (in a big booming voice from upstairs) Charlie!
Me: What!
Tom: Come here!
Me: (as I stand up and start going upstairs) You know, when you yell for me like that, you kind of sound like my father yelling for me. It's very confusing sexually.
Tom: (by now right in front of me, shaking his head) I have the Orkin man on the phone. He wants to know when a good appointment time is.
Me: Oh.

This is generally how businesses get to know me as a client, actually.

Saturday, June 01, 2013

I must have married for looks.

over the phone:
Tom: So then I'll just buy this carpet remnant.
Me: Won't it get wet on the way home?
Tom: Nah. It's not raining.
Me: But it's rain-y. And the sky is dark here in town.
Tom: It'll be fine. Don't worry.
.....fifteen minutes later....
Tom: Is it raining in town?
Me: It doesn't really look like it. Why?
Tom: Cars have their wipers on. Oh crap, I just drove into the rain! The carpet is getting wet!

How tragic that NO ONE could have predicted this.