TOM (lying in bed): I think I have RLS.
ME: You do not have RLS.
TOM: How can you know that? Do you even know what RLS is?
ME: Because no one really has RLS! In parts of the world where people actually know suffering, nobody complains about RLS! No one with any real concerns sits in bed at night going "Hmmm, I think my leg is twitchy." Get yourself some real worries and quit thinking your leg wants to kick something. Wanna know what it wants to kick? Your own ass, for being such a hypochondriac!
TOM: Nah, I think I have RLS.
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