I used to be gay. Not as an orientation but as a lifestyle (orientation stays, statically and fluidly as bi/pan). I went to gay bars and saw drag shows. My gaydar was always on and I got the joke when Karen threw the keys and neither Jack nor Will moved to catch them (Grace: The gays don't catch.). But then the woman I fell in love with had a penis and I married him and we settled down into blissful suburbia forever. But sometimes, sometimes I miss my gay card.
I watch Project Runway (Yay, Mondo! Sorry, Austin. Stop crying, Michael Costello), but I've never seen RuPaul's Drag Race. I've never seen Glee. I barely even know who Lady Gaga is! I just, I miss the glitter and the disco lights and the men dressed as women with lipstick outside the natural lines of their lips. I love my husband very very much, but sometimes I wish he were gayer.