Tommy: (from his room in the morning) I can';t find my underwear!
Me: They're in the laundry room. I'll get them for you.
Two minutes later I run up the stairs with an outfit for him and he is standing in the dining room, hips thrust, shaking what God gave him and making jingle sounds.
ME: Here, put on your underwear and stop doing the dingaling dance. You know someday you'll find a wife and I'll meet her and tell her how you used to stand naked at the dinner table and do the dingaling dance!
Tommy: (laughing) And you know what my wife will say? She will laugh at you and tell you that I still do that. And that I fart in the bed, too!
I don't doubt for a minute that this is true. I just wonder how he can know it already.