It would be creepy because I'd sign the card, "Grandma"

It's probably a good thing that I'm as broke as I am. I'm too spontaneous and weirdly generous and if I could afford shipping, I'd be mailing anonymous and ridiculous things all over the country.  Last year (2010) we had snow at Xmas and I had a friend in Colorado Springs who was facebooking about how much she missed snow and I spent days trying to figure out if I could afford to mail a freezer bag of snow to Colorado. As it turned out, dry ice is really expensive!  And every once in a while I'll find something that reminds me of my dead grandmother, usually some horrid and cheap hard candy, and wonder for a moment if I should mail some to my cousin. I have one cousin who had that perfect combination of A) living an hour's drive away from Grandma, B) being raised by her borderline Oedipal father to worship Grandma, and C) a selective memory able to completely erase the racism, weight comments, constant criticism, and just plain awfulness of Grandma.  And she will post comments on facebook every once in a while about how much she misses Grandma, which only proves that she has absolutely no accurate memories of the woman, but still if I had the money to do it I would totally order those cheap blue-tinned butter cookies and have them shipped to her.
When your grandmother calls you a whore for having a boyfriend at age 15, on the street, at the top of her lungs, it forms your opinion. Plus, she called every grandkid who wasn't rail thin fat, and told the thin ones they were going to starve to death, and once told my cousin not to sit on chairs anymore because he was going to break all the furniture by being fat.  Seriously, she babysat for a weekend once and had him sitting on the floor the whole time.

Stop dressing trashy!

Where is the line between being happy with your body no matter the size, and realistically seeing that some clothes are only for the 1% of the population tiny enough to wear them appropriately? Here are some pics I've snatched from google image which illustrate my point.


I also found a photo of a girl with her ass crack hanging out but I can't seem to post it here so here's a link: link. I know a few girls who dress like this, and they're not even hugely fat girls. Maybe a size 14, which is big but not bed-ridden or anything. It's just that they either A) do not see in the mirror the same thing other people see, B) actually think that tight clothes clinging to fat rolls is a genuinely attractive look, or C) feel that being able to physically wedge themselves into size 8 jeans makes them a size 8 person. I really truly do not know if what I feel is disgust or envy. I would never have the nerve to wear clothes that accentuate my fat. I might actually err on the side of too baggy, but not on the side of too tight. It seems, though, that this look is an actual trend, that it is now fashionable to wear tight clothes over chubby figures. You are supposed to be a size 14 in a skin tight t shirt. I feel like, by thinking it's obviously a mistake or oversight, I am the modern day equivalent of the old women who used to gasp at visible bra straps. I just think that clothes should, no matter the figure of the wearer, skim the body, not cling to it. If your bra digs in, your shirt shouldn't be tight enough to show it. And if you have fat rolls, your top does not need to delve in between them. Am I sizist just for thinking that this:
looks better than this:

And by the way, I totally prefer big women and have a huge crush on Brooke Elliott, the woman in the suit up there.