Only Respect Intelligence Where You Find It

I have seen headlines all over the net lately about the Boston Bomb Scare. Here's one if you want to read it. I think the lesson to be learned by this is that people in Seattle are far far more intelligent than people in Boston.

This reminds me of the 2000 Florida voting snafu, where a bunch of people accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan because they were too stupid to see his name a half inch from the hole. I can only assume that the large population of retirees in Florida all had cataracts blocking that area of their vision.

Of course, Ted Turner has apologized for the threatening Lite-Brites in Boston, and we now get to vote on electronic machines (great for the retirees, because the elderly are so adept at mastering electronics), but my question is why. Why does Ted Turner have to apologize? Why do we all need to vote with a child's LeapPad? Is there nothing to be said for simply allowing life to punish the stupid the way it always has?

Of course, if Ted Turner had released a statement which read, "After hearing of the fear and panic our advertisers' actions have caused in Boston, I would like to personally apologize for having grossly overestimated the average intelligence of that city's population. You can rest assured that from now on all advertising to be done in the city of Boston by Turner Broadcasting Systems or its affiliates will be in bold printed billboards using only monosyllabic words," the public would be outraged and the ratings for Friends re-runs on TBS would have declined sharply. But come on, it's about time we stop catering to the lowest common denominator. Do we really need to arrest advertisers for trying to catch viewers' attention with bright and shiny signs? This country is filled with people who, like seagulls, become enthralled by anything bright and shiny. That is the Cartoon Network target audience. Who else watches cartoons at ten p.m.?

The people worthy of the least respect in this country seem to be the ones demanding it the loudest. Can't make the Florida voters feel stupid for poking the wrong holes; no, we have to revamp the entire system because stabbing a circle with an arrow a millimeter away telling them what it signifies is far too complex. Well why can't we make the Florida voters feel stupid? The arrow practically touches the dot they punched, and it leads directly to the prominently displayed names of the candidates it represents. If they are too dumb to see that then they probably shouldn't be deciding who runs the country anyway. Maybe if we stopped assuring them that it was in fact a reasonable mistake that could have been made by anyone, they would attempt to become more intelligent. Stupidity should have consequences.

Maybe if we stopped acting like anyone could mistake a sign advertising cartoons for a terrorist act and asked these people out loud why they shut down half of Boston, they would be forced to at least admit that they overreacted. But no, any illuminated sign that doesn't advertise beer or gasoline must be explosive. And they really truly believe that anyone else would have made the same mistake, despite the fact that other cities with the same ad campaign in place hadn't.

Stupid people are demanding not to be condescended to, to be respected for their lacking intelligence and to be catered to specifically for that lack. I believe everyone should be treated with respect, and I'm also all in favor of making public policies as accommodating to people as possible, including making cash easier for the blind to use and making alarms in public buildings recognizable to the deaf. But when some idiot calls up city hall and requests a bomb squad shut down a major highway because a sign has "batteries and wires", I believe that the idiots should be inconvenienced before those possessing common sense.