Wednesday, February 22, 2012
The birth board
I am in a group online. It started out as a "birth board" 4 years ago when I was pregnant with Tommy, a bunch of women due in August of 2008. At some point we remaining few joined with the July 08 group when ours died down. But for 4 years I've stayed in this group, checking for updates almost daily, with the same women. But you know me (maybe), and I don't do well with groups. Groups come with group dynamics and group mentality, and I always feel like I'm on the outside of that stuff. And now I'm in some stupid feud with some lady in the group who has "anger issues" (who doesn't?) and everyone walks around her on eggshells deferring to her triggers and I stepped on her invisible landmine issue and she went nuts and they all told me to drop it. So I left the group for a few days. Now, I know that mathematically she's no more important than me, but I can't help but feel that they'd rather she stay than me, and that it's a choice that has to be made. Like, someone has to leave so why not be me? But, why should I cater to her hissy fit? I'm somehow not allowed to defend myself because she has shit in her life? We all have shit in our lives. That's just life. Anyway, I'm leaning toward just leaving the group and moving on. But then a part of me thinks maybe I should be part of a group, a group I've got a 4 year investment in. I don't know. It's just drama. But seriously, we were all supposed to go to Vegas next year and meet in real life. Wtf.