*yawn*

Lately I've been having trouble sleeping.  I always have trouble falling asleep, but once I'm asleep I'm usually fine. I can wake up to roll over, check the clock, pee, whatever, and fall right back to sleep.  But the last week or so, after I wake up at all I'm just up. 
I have friends who have insomnia and they get things done.  They clean their houses or read books or whatever. I just  lie in bed with my thoughts racing, occasionally dozing just enough to have racing-thoughts dreams that leave me more tired than before.  I wish I could be a productive insomniac.   I wish I could get things done.  But most of all, I wish I could just sleep!

Migraines and mornings

Danny woke up at 5:00 a.m., nursing and chewing my boob and fussing. I switched sides nursing him a few times, because that generally works to put him back to sleep, but then Tom got out of the bed at 6:00 so we were up. Now, it's Thursday and I've had a migraine since Monday afternoon. I went to the hospital yesterday for it and they gave me a shot in the ass and a bottle of pills with the warning that the pills would make me drowsy, and the headache is still here. So Danny and I got up, I had a big bawling "All I want to do is sleep and not feel my headache and you won't let me!" breakdown, which Tom heard over the monitor.  He offered to go into work late and let me sleep but by then it was 6:30 and I'd been awake for an hour and a half so I told him not to bother. He told me to take a pill but I'm already exhausted and a barbiturate that'll make me drowsy isn't going to help.  I've been crying on and off about it for a while, but what's the point? I know everyone will say "You need to make time for yourself and do things just for you," and blah blah blah. I can't do that, I don't do that, and that's that.  I just need to power through it and deal. Put on my big girl panties and be a fucking mom.  But I will, just for today, try to nap while they nap.  And speaking of that, Danny passed out on a blanket on the floor at about 7:15. 

Starting to think I'm the only one

I was chatting with someone the other day about those dual zone electric blankets, where each half has its own gauge, and I mentioned that I don't understand how they would work unless each person slept separately on their own side of the bed and who does that, really.  I got a blank stare.  Apparently everybody does that, everybody but me.
Tom and I sleep in the middle, or both on one side.  We sleep together, spooning or with one person curled against the other. And while I never assumed that everybody did that, I did assume that probably half of all couples did it and that the other half at least were near each other.  Apparently I was wrong and everybody but me and Tom sleep far apart from each other, with some sort of electrified barbed wire barrier down the middle of the bed.  That's an exaggeration, but you get my drift.  I've always wondered about those Sleep Number beds, and dual sided heated mattress pads, and those Craftmatic beds with the split down the middle.  But it seems like we are just the only couple who sleep all smushed together.  I just wonder why.