Why Men Eat Take-Out

Tom took my grocery list and is right now attempting to buy the household groceries. The problem with this? Well A) I didn't write the list for him, I wrote it for me. Therefore it has on it things like 'brn rice bag 2' and 'me shamp / cond'. And 2) He spends my money wrong. See, I get a set amount of money every payday to spend on household food and supplies. This is the only money I get to touch. And it bothers me when he comes back from Walmart and I have three dollars left, but look at the good deal he got on bulk apples! I wanted four apples, for Ryan's lunches, but he bought ten pounds of apples for only eight times the price. See? Great deal on apples, but it screws me in the money department. This is why I've been on the phone talking him through Walmart for the last half hour. This is how he helps me with the domestic duties, by making me spend just as much time on them as I would have anyway, while simultaneously depriving me the joy of actually leaving the house and forcing me to try to describe the freezer section so he can find the things he can't decipher anyway.

He is asking me if I want him to pick up some calf liver. He giggles. He seems to think that this is just the height of personal comedy, asking me if I want calf liver, because it crosses almost all of my personal food boundaries. I won't eat baby animals and I won't eat anything you could reasonably expect to find on an autopsy table. Also, it wasn't on my list and he's spending my allowance!

He didn't go to Office Max to get the Original Scent Lysol which I had thought was discontinued until I found it online at officemax.com. He has kindly volunteered to go buy it after he leaves Walmart. With a trunk full of frozen food. In the ninety degree heat. While I sit at home with no car hoping that Ryan doesn't call for a ride home from her friend's house across town. Why didn't Tom go buy it before he went to Walmart? Because it's just Lysol, and they sell Lysol at Walmart. And because he didn't read the list. And because he didn't think it was a big deal. And because he didn't hear me when I asked him to call me before he went shopping, even though he agreed to at the time.

This is proof that sexual orientation isn't a choice. No one would ever choose to spend their life dealing with the opposite sex, not without a HUGE genetic push. I think gay people have it right. Live with someone you can talk to, someone who speaks the same language, someone who understands the importance of the original scent Lysol you remember from your youth!







Sadly, I do appreciate it all, and he did save me getting dressed and running to Clinton first thing in the morning. It's just, I never get to go anywhere!