Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Gifts of Xmas Past

I wonder every year if one of the gifts I painstakingly choose for my kids will be one of the ones they remember in adulthood. So on that note (and the massive pressure it puts on me!) here is a spur of the moment list of my most bestest Xmas gifts I ever got, that I can remember right now.

An awesome Barbie & The Rockers tour bus when I was 11, which I cannot find anywhere on the internet. I gave it to a friend to let her daughters play with my massive Barbie collection and she left everything in her basement to get moldy. Bitch.

A black leather coat with fringe and buttons that looked like Indian head nickels when I was 15. It was awesome and I wore that thing for like ten years, and Ryan pulled the fringe off one piece at a time.

A CB radio when I was 17. I used it a week later to call the cops when my car broke down in the middle of US 30, between towns.

A big box of food when I was 18. I was living at my dad's and there wasn't tons of food there, plus he kinda wanted me to move out, so my Mom bought me a giant box (remember when TVs were 3 dimensional? that kind of box) of mac and cheese, dry rice and pasta, canned and jarred food, just stuff to eat when Dad ate the fridge down to nothing.

An air purifier from my mom/Santa when I was 22. At the time I smoked, but only by the kitchen window since I didn't want Ryan breathing a lot of smoke, and it was freezing to have the window open, so Mom bought me a hepa air purifier for the smoke. The thing must have cost her a hundred dollars, and it's not like she wasn't helping me out financially anyway.

Lavender floral print thong underwear with Winnie the Pooh on them. When I was potty training Ryan I bought her flower print and Winnie the Pooh panties in her favorite color: purple, and I always told her to be very careful not to pee in her pretty flower panties and how much I wished I had pretty flower panties like she had. That Xmas she went with my mom and bought me what she knew would be the perfect gift: purple flower panties with Winnie the Pooh. I don't generally wear thongs, but I loved those panties so much because they showed that she really looked for the perfect gift and not only bought me what she thought was neat, but what I had actually mentioned wanting. Awesome kid, huh?

A Nebraska garden gnome when I was 28. It was Tom and my first Xmas together and I wanted to jump on his bandwagon (that is not sexual) and be a big Nebraska fan so we were looking at websites looking for a shirt I'd like and I found this gnome. Completely pointless and frivolous, but I fell in love. And not only did I get the gnome, but I got the shirt we found, too.

An espresso/cappuccino machine when I was 31. I didn't know you could buy a decent espresso machine for under $100 (Alton Brown said the good ones were expensive, damn him!) but Ryan bought me a Mr Coffee one that has lasted me 3 full years. If we had a water softener, it would still be in great condition, but I think it is getting clogged with calcium or lime from daily use. I hope to get a new one this year.

A zippered tote with yellow butterflies all over it when I was 33. Last year when we were in the mall on Black Friday, after a very early morning up for doorbusters, Ryan ran off to shop for me and a month later, I got multiple gifts but one of them was a zippered canvas tote with yellow butterflies on it. I have used the thing so much the zipper is pulling away and needs to be resewn, and I love it. It was one of the bags I brought to the hospital with me when I had Danny.

A (faux) fur lined hat with ear flaps and a chin strap. My mother bought it for me because I had wanted one for shoveling snow and when I opened it my (conformist) brother laughed at me, but I did not care. The next year, everyone was wearing hats with ear flaps and chin straps. Why? Because it gets freaking cold here and the hats are warm and when you're in danger of losing your favorite appendages to frost bite, fuck looking cool!

I can't think of any more, but hopefully I can come up with new entries to this list in a couple weeks. Feliz Navidad!

1 comment:

Kate said...

I've gotten made fun of every winter for 3 years now for wearing my harf, which is a hat/scarf combination that I LOVE! I don't know if it has an official name, but I call it a harf and I don't care that people mock me, I can't lose it like I always did my hat or my scarf. And for several years in high school and college I would attach my mittens to a string that went through my coat sleeves to keep from losing them too. I like to think Charlie that you and I just dance to the beat of a different drummer, we always have and we always will.