Positive people

I used to envy positive people. People who could hear of a family member's death and instantly feel grateful for the time they'd had together rather than mad at the world for taking the person away. People who could go through three months of nausea, three months of heartburn, and three months of backaches and constant peeing, and only glow with pregnant joy. Don't get me wrong; I loved being pregnant. But I hated nausea, heartburn, backaches, constant peeing, and the additional gift of diabetes. But, after years of observation, I think I've figured the positive people out. I think they're lying. And I think they do it because they really believe that as long as they hide and bury and deny any negativity, they will be rewarded.

I understand that people who are open to opportunity are more likely to notice it than people who are busy bitching and whining about the need for opportunity. But I do not believe that the Universe treats positive people any different than it treats negative people. I don't believe the Universe treats anyone any way. I don't credit the Universe with intent. Things happen because of logical cause and effect or because of random coincidence. You can cover your car and house with pink ribbons and smile in the chemo room or you can cry and scream and hate cancer for infecting you, and your survival rate won't be any different. And I don't believe that the people who smile and wear color-coded ribbons like badges of honor are happy to have cancer, or even that they're less mad about it. I think they're hiding their anger, denying it, and thus wasting whatever support system they might have by not actually seeking support. All because Oprah or Dr Phil or some new age motivational speaker convinced them that a positive outlook will help cure them. It's a myth. It's been debunked.
I feel bad for people who never get mad in traffic, who never allow themselves a moment of self-pity or sadness or anger. The same way I wouldn't want to go through life feeling only negative emotions I wouldn't want to feel only positive ones either. I enjoy living life to its fullest, and that includes being pissed off and sometimes just letting myself cry and feel sorry for myself. People who can't bring themselves to do that are missing out on a big chunk of life.