Dogs aren't people. Your dogs aren't your children. It's both obnoxious of you to claim that they are, and insulting to actual parents. The question "Do you have any kids?" should never be met with "Yes, five. Two poodles and three schnauzers." You can love your dogs as much as you want. You can set them places at the table and buy them clothes and dedicate a whole room of your house to them, but it doesn't make them children. If I absolutely had to leave town for a week and leave my children behind, they would be with a baby sitter, not a kennel. And when I go to a doctor's appointment or to the grocery store, they come along. They do not get left at home with a bowl of food on the floor. My children use either diapers or the toilet, not training pads on the floor or my yard. My children go to a pediatrician, not a vet. My children do not lick their own (or anyone else's) genitals.
Human children are a whole different level of love and devotion than pets. Even crazy cat ladies who would stay in a burning house for their pets feel an even crazier devotion to their children. Or they don't, but that's what makes them crazy. And you'd be surprised how "parents" to dogs change their tune when they become actual parents to actual children. So please stop calling your pets your kids. It's stupid and obnoxious and weird.
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