I am a herd

I am paranoid. If I pass a group of insipid teenagers at the mall and they start to giggle (which insipid teenagers always do) my first thought it that they are, of course, laughing at me. Paranoid, see? Once in high school I came out of the girls room and walked down to class, and people were laughing and I (as always) immediately thought they were all laughing at me, but I knew the odds of that were almost nil so I told myself to just hold my head up and ignore them and to stop being so paranoid. I'd walked most of the way down the hall before somebody yelled at me to pull my skirt out of the back of my underpants. True story. True, and humiliating, story.

My point, other than to always check the back of your underpants before leaving the ladies room, is that I will never assume the best. I write this blog and I know that no one reads it. No one comments here much so I assume no one reads it. Now I have been hearing that people do read it. So yay. But with that yay comes fear. What if what I write pisses people off? What if someone sees themself here? What if they're not even the one I was writing about? I can't just say "Oh no, the bitch I mentioned with the IQ of a wet noodle was Sue over there" so I'll just be stuck with a lame "It wasn't you, for realz."

So to my readers, who now number in the high single digits, thank you for reading and try to remember that my blog is like a herd of vapid teens at the mall. It's probably not laughing at you and if it is, it's really too stupid for its opinion to matter anyway!