Thursday

Thursday is the worst day of the week, and I can explain why.

Monday sucks but everyone knows it's coming, that there has to be a start to the work week in order to ever get paid, and that it's not really Monday's fault. On three day weekends, we just end up hating Tuesday instead.

Tuesday is good because hey, at least it's not Monday. We're a little closer to the weekend, even if just by one day.

Wednesday is kinda neutral. It's the middle of the week and kind of stands alone just on that distinction. Plus, a lot of bars have Hump Day promotions, so that's kinda cool.

Thursday isn't Friday, but it's just close enough that all day you can't help but think of Friday, and that today is not it. Also, if for any reason your mind feels one day off, there's a 50/50 chance that you will be horribly disappointed when you realize your mistake.

Friday is awesome because it's the last day before the weekend. It is almost universally accepted that Friday is a slacker day and that everyone's mind is already on the weekend head of them and that, if they can get away with it, people will be ducking out of work early. Never schedule surgery for a Friday.

Saturday is the only day of the week when you can sleep in and stay up late. Unless you're religious and you have to wake up early, which is a waste of the gift of God's weekend and should be considered a violation of Sabbath rules if you ask me.

Sunday is good, if you stay home. Otherwise you have all the church people clogging up the streets with on-street parking all around the churches, church people with tie-wearing little kinds being all antsy in restaurants at lunch time, and Sunday-only drivers on fixed incomes who refuse to drive over 20 mph in order to save gas.